There are some songs that just say what you wish to say. This is one such song from the movie, “Love Actually”

In the swirl of my life’s events

eddying, swirling, rushing forward relentlessly

Do I bob placidly on the surface,

going with the flow?

Am I being tossed around

helplessly trying to keep my head above water

swallowing mouthfuls and sputtering

trying to grasp

make sense of all that rushes by?

Feels like both

at the same time…

Getting married. Becoming pregnant. Moving halfway around the world. Leaving all I had known for 29 years to be in a land that some believe flows with milk and honey yet I know doesn’t really. All this can be a bit overwhelming to say the least. New life, new beginnings. What happens to the old? Discarded, forgotten, shelved? Not for me. For the old is what I bring into the new. Yet, I pray to have the courage to not just wish that things be this or that. I pray to face Truth as it is, not to flinch nor look away but to embrace what is and join it with what was to become more of …me. Until that process is complete . . .

I bob upon the swirling waters

I sputter and flail

I try to keep my head above the waters

All at the same time. . .